Author: Event Horizon

  • For All of Us

    An old flatmate of mine called Dublin Pat – to distinguish him from Belfast Pat  – was walking home after an all-night session of drink, drugs and best-not-asks. A florist was opening the shutters of her shop and Pat walked in. “Would you have a rose?” says Pat “Certainly,” says the florist. “And a bit…

  • Gaudeamus Igitur

    It was a Sunday morning in the squalid neighbourhood where I lived, on the 6th floor of a putrid high-rise, as a student. My girlfriend got up early to go to a rehearsal. As she closed the front door I rolled over, ready to drop back into a deep slumber. I was woken by my…

  • The Camel’s Back

    Once I was in my local bar when a drugged up type came up and started to be a pain in the nether-regions. I fobbed him off and he eventually went away. Then  two very well dressed men walked in.  The druggy approached them and was given short shrift. He didn’t like that so he…

  • What’s in a Name?

    If you are unlucky, you get a name like Dave, Anne, Juan or Maria. These are your daily names that serve to know when people beckon you or want attention.  They are overcoat names. But we all have secret names that only God and maybe one or two close friends know. And of course you…

  • Vengeance is Mine says the Lord — Postscript

    The last post was a bit preachy and holier than thou. I apologise. Confession:- I have at least one friend who, were anyone to hurt them or even come close to hurting them, I would feel compelled to cut out the perp’s heart with a spoon. Slowly.          

  • Vengeance is Mine says the Lord

    There was a mouse running along a country lane when an eagle swooped down and carried him into the high sky. It was so cold up there the mouse began to freeze.  Then the eagle dropped the mouse and the poor thing fell into a large cow pat. The heat from the recently deposited bovine…

  • Superpower

    Actually, I do have a superpower but nobody believes me. I can see string. I see invisible strings attached to people and attached to emotions and wrapped around circumstances. Ever wondered how magicians make passes with their hands and objects on the other side of the darkened stage float and move? Invisible string. Well, that…

  • Being Selfish

    Sometimes I feel like a bull who dozed off in a summer meadow and when I woke up some bastard had built a china shop around me. I mean, really. If someone’s happiness depends on me, they bet on the wrong horse..or bull. Or whatever. Love others as you love yourself means you have to…

  • A Leap of Faith

    Meditation of the week: What is the difference between a leap of faith and a jump for joy?

  • Half Lives

    A friend of mine was telling how, a few years ago, he was having a drink in a gastropub with a friend when she suddenly told him that he had beautiful eyes. “I almost cried,” he said, “I couldn’t remember that last time anyone had said anything beautiful to me.” And that made him think…